We understand we’re in pain and our desire is to do something to get relief. We want it to be quick – we’re human after all and pain is no fun. While this feeling is understandable, it’s helpful to remind ourselves it's in these painful times we are often doing “the work” that brings growth. It’s way slower than we want it to be and it’s often difficult to see. - Susie Smidt, MA, LMFT
In the process of seeking to be emotionally well and find healing in our lives, we often talk about doing our work – and that can often be difficult to define. It can feel like trying to collect water in a colander. I frequently have clients identify they are feeling frustrated and then go on to tell me they are stuck. I always feel a lot of empathy in this conversation because I well remember feeling that very same way.
That feeling of “stuckness” is never fun. Sometimes the main thing we understand is that we’re in pain and the desire is there to do something to make it feel better and get relief from the pain. It goes without saying that we want that something to be quick – we’re human after all and pain is no fun.
Surprised By Growth
While this feeling is understandable, I think it’s helpful to remind ourselves that in these very times we are often doing “the work” that brings growth. It’s way slower than we want it to be. And it’s often difficult to see. I hope this incomplete list of practical examples of what our work can look like will be helpful to you as you define your work in your journey of healing. (Click the drop-down arrow below to view the list!)
What "My Work" Means To Me
I was thinking of the many women with whom I work when I wrote this list, and I believe most of these points are not gender specific. This list is just a starting point. Feel free to make it your own. At the start of this new year, I hope this helps and encourages you in the important work you are doing in your own journey of healing and being well.
Susie Smidt is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Her work at Faithful & True focuses on women who have been sexually and relationally betrayed by their husbands and on helping couples recover. Along with providing individual counseling to women and couples with her husband Russ who is a Certified Family Life Coach, Susie leads weekly women’s groups, teaches and leads small groups at the Women’s Journey Workshop and participates in leading the Couple’s Journey Workshops with other colleagues at Faithful & True.