Healthy Sexuality: Personal Dimension 2

Personal Dimensions of Healing and Calling in Recovery

Faithful & True Podcast Transcript (Legacy Series)

Randy Evert (Co-Host):

It’s easy to look back on life and get caught in the “what ifs.”What if things had been different? What if I had made other choices? What if my story had unfolded another way?

But when we stay stuck in those questions, we often find ourselves drifting into anger, resentment, and regret. And for those navigating sex addiction, porn addiction, or betrayal trauma, that backward focus can keep us trapped instead of moving toward healing.

The more important question becomes this:What is God calling you to today?

How might even your failures, your wounds, and your misdirected experiences actually be shaping your purpose moving forward?

Randy Evert (Co-Host):

Welcome to the Faithful & True Podcast. I’m Randy Evert, your co-host, and today we’re featuring another legacy presentation with Dr. Mark Laaser.

This episode continues our discussion on healthy sexuality, focusing on the personal dimension—a crucial component of healing and marriage recovery, especially for those impacted by sex addiction and betrayal trauma.

Dr. Mark Laaser:

Today we’re continuing our conversation about the Faithful & True workbook and the dimensions of healthy sexuality.

We challenge listeners to consider all the dimensions involved in becoming a healthy person—not just behaviorally, but spiritually, relationally, and personally.

The model includes several dimensions:

• Spiritual

• Physical

• Relational

• Behavioral (accountability and structure)

• Personal (identity, healing, and character)

Today, we’re focusing on that personal dimension—your identity, your healing journey, and your God-given design.

Lesson 1: The Ability to Trust

Dr. Mark Laaser:

We begin with trust.

Last week, we talked about trusting others in relationships—especially important in marriage recovery after betrayal trauma. But today, we’re asking a deeper question:

Do you have the ability to trust at all?

Many individuals struggling with porn addiction or sex addiction bring unresolved wounds into relationships. While betrayal in a marriage causes real trauma, it’s also true that many people already carry earlier wounds related to trust.

These wounds often come from childhood:

• Abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual)

• Betrayal by caregivers or authority figures

• Spiritual confusion from inconsistent role models

For example, imagine growing up in a home where parents profess faith publicly but behave destructively in private. That incongruence creates confusion:

• Can I trust people?

• Can I trust authority?

• Can I trust God?

Dr. Mark Laaser (continued):

Even our understanding of God can be shaped by these experiences.

For me, I once had a very immature view of prayer. I believed God would always answer exactly as I asked. When that didn’t happen, it challenged my ability to trust Him.

So this lesson invites you to reflect:

• Where were you wounded?

• How has that impacted your trust?

• How does it affect your relationships today—especially in recovery from sex addiction or betrayal trauma?

Randy Evert:

This is an invitation to go back and identify those moments where trust was broken—whether by family, church leaders, or others you depended on.

Dr. Mark Laaser:

Exactly. And if you’re listening in a group—pause and share those stories. Healing often begins in safe, honest community.

Lesson 2: Discovering Your Talents

Dr. Mark Laaser:

The next part of the personal dimension is identifying your talents and giftedness.

Later, this leads to discovering your:

• Calling

• Mission

• Purpose

This is critical in posttraumatic growth (PTG)—moving beyond survival into meaning.

One of my favorite teachings here is the parable of the talents.

Some invest what they’ve been given and grow it. Others bury it in fear.

The message is clear:

You have been given gifts—and you are called to use them.

Dr. Mark Laaser (personal reflection):

Growing up, my father strongly influenced how I viewed my talents. He believed I was gifted in speaking, so I pursued debate—even becoming successful at it.

But looking back, I realize:

• Some of that direction wasn’t fully my own

• Some of my true passions were left unexplored

This is important in recovery. Many individuals struggling with porn addiction or sex addiction have lost connection with their true identity and passions.

Practical Exercise:

Ask yourself—and others in your support system:

• When do I feel most alive?

• When do I feel joy, energy, and creativity?

• What do others notice about me?

A Powerful Illustration: Chariots of Fire

Dr. Mark Laaser:

One of my favorite movies is Chariots of Fire, which tells the story of two runners with very different motivations.

• One runs to prove himself and overcome shame

• The other runs out of calling and identity in God

The second runner says:

“God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.”

That’s the key.

Finding Alignment with God’s Design

When you are aligned with your calling:

• You feel peace

• You experience purpose

• You sense fulfillment

When you’re not, you may feel:

• Anger

• Resentment

• Boredom

• Meaninglessness

These emotional indicators are especially common in those struggling with addictive cycles, including sex addiction and porn addiction.

Randy Evert:

You also include an exercise asking people to reflect on the last time they felt truly joyful or at peace—and what they were doing.

Dr. Mark Laaser:

Yes—because those moments often point directly to your calling.

Moving Forward: From Regret to Purpose

Dr. Mark Laaser:

It’s easy to stay stuck in the past—especially when dealing with shame from addiction or the pain of betrayal trauma.

But healing requires a shift:

• From “What if?”

• To “What now?”

Even your failures can become part of your calling.

For me, writing is one of those spaces. My experiences—even my struggles—have shaped what I write about. And when I’m in that space, I feel aligned with God’s purpose.

Your Mission in Recovery

When you identify your talents and calling:

• Your life gains meaning

• Your recovery gains direction

• Your healing contributes to others

This is the heart of posttraumatic growth.

Closing Reflections

Dr. Mark Laaser:

If you’re in a group, reflect together:

• What gifts do you see in each other?

• When do people seem most alive?

• Where do you notice joy and energy?

And for spouses navigating betrayal trauma, this is also part of your healing:

Rediscovering your identity, your calling, and your voice.

Randy Evert:

We see this often—especially with women in recovery—returning to school, pursuing dreams, and stepping into new purpose.

Dr. Mark Laaser:

That’s right. Healing is not just about stopping destructive behaviors—it’s about becoming who you were created to be.

Randy Evert (Closing):

Thank you for joining us on the Faithful & True Podcast.

We hope this conversation supports your journey of healing—from sex addiction, porn addiction, and betrayal trauma—into deeper marriage recovery and posttraumatic growth.

Visit us at faithfulandtrue.com for additional resources to support your journey.

May this week be filled with clarity, purpose, and hope.