Running to Recovery

Running and Recovery

Randy:
Welcome to the Faithful and True Podcast. I’m Randy Everett, your co-host.

We’re happy to be back with you again today on the Faithful and True Podcast with our usual leader, Greg Miller. Greg, great to see you as always.

Greg:
It’s good to be here.

Randy:
Greg is in town to lead the Men’s Journey Workshop here at Faithful and True. And our special guest on today’s podcast is the clinical director of Faithful and True, the one and only Jim Farmer.

Jim:
You love saying that.

Randy:
I do. You say it in such a lyrical way.

Jim:
It’s such a prestigious title.

Randy:
It’s an honorable position. So we’re happy to have Jim back with us today.

We’re going to do two back-to-back podcasts today, and this first one is going to deal with the comparison of running to recovery.

Greg:
The timing is great because I just celebrated my second anniversary of running. For those of you who have been around, you may have heard me mention this on another podcast. One of the things I want to clarify is that even though I’ve been running for two years, I still do not consider myself a runner. There are certain expectations that go along with that.

For one, I assume that people who are runners like running. And two years into it, I still do not enjoy running. I see the benefit of it. I enjoy it when it’s over. I like the sense of satisfaction. But at this point, I still don’t consider myself a runner, even though I run regularly.

But I do see a lot of connection to recovery.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the story, two years ago my daughter-in-law asked me, “Would you like to run the Shamrock Shuffle?” It’s an 8K held in Chicago every year. I kind of naively said, “Sure, that sounds great,” not really ever having run much in my life.

My son downloaded an app because, at that point, I was naive. I didn’t know anything about it. I was pretty ignorant. So he downloaded an app called Couch to 5K, and it just started with the basics. At the very beginning, you would walk a minute, then run a minute, walk a minute, run a minute, and you just progressed over time.

I really do think that is kind of the beginning of a correlation with recovery: you have to start with where you are. Whatever is true for you, whatever your understanding is, whatever your experience is, you start with where you are, you start with the basics, and you allow yourself to be committed to the process.

Jim:
A few things you mentioned, Greg, stand out to me, because I run too, and I started naively like you. So you get in trouble when you start off naively.

One thing you mentioned is that you were invited into this process. It wasn’t like you were dragged into it or pushed into it. You had an experienced person who said, “Hey, it seems like you might enjoy this, or this might be good for you.” So you had someone who had done this before. You weren’t doing something just out of the blue by yourself.

Greg:
Right. And the other piece of it is that this particular daughter-in-law had run a marathon. In fact, the first marathon I ever watched, I watched her run the Chicago Marathon. Even all those years ago, it kind of cast that vision: I wonder if that’s something that I could do.

I also think another part of the story was that I had my annual physical, and my doctor was basically telling me that I needed more aerobic activity, and running was an option. So I was getting this invitation from my family to run, but I was also getting encouragement from my doctor saying this would be good for me.

I think that’s one of the things we need to pay attention to: when professionals and others in our life are encouraging us toward some sort of health, that we hear that invitation and choose it. I know for a lot of the men that come through our workshop, others may see some things in their life even before they’re able to see them—things that need to be addressed or paid attention to.

That was certainly true for me when I began running. We listen to the others around us. We hear the invitation, but we also hear the encouragement or the direction around a need.

Jim:
It’s interesting because some people would say, “Well, let’s just go run the marathon.”

But that doesn’t recognize that you might have to build up before you can get to that place. It’s kind of that “I’ve got the walk-a-minute part down—and then rest.”

Greg:
Yeah. You don’t go from nothing to the whole thing right out of the gate.

Jim:
Exactly. And that app—what was it called again?

Greg:
Couch to 5K.

Jim:
Right. It was a plan. It was saying, “This is how you eventually get to the 5K.” You’re not going to go from the couch to the marathon. Let’s start with the 5K, but there are a lot of steps that get you there.

That’s kind of like recovery. We have some guys who say, “Let’s just get this recovery done this week.”

Greg:
Right. Part of that is recognizing that the app was very directive. On my own, I would not have figured it out. On my own, I might have tried to do too much, or I might also have tried to do too little. But every day there was direction—how many days I was supposed to do it, and as time progressed, there was more running than walking. It eventually went to two minutes running, one minute walking, and then it progressed from there. The distances increased.

What’s really true is if I looked down the road and thought about running five miles or ten miles, that would have been intimidating. But in the early days, I could do what the app was asking me to do, even though it was kind of overwhelming.

I think part of it is that app was based, I’m assuming, on a lot of expertise, a lot of information, and a lot of trial and error. That’s part of recovery too. We need wise voices in our life that are encouraging us, challenging us, helping us set a pace that is realistic. That’s where the community can be a significant part of what we’re doing. We listen to others as we’re trying to figure this out and begin.

Jim:
I’m assuming part of your journey over these last two years wasn’t smooth. I bet you had some injuries, some soreness, or some illness that got in the way of running.

Greg:
Absolutely. What’s true is there are always challenges. The challenge could be something going on with me physically. The challenge itself could be the weather. I live in Chicago—we’re in the middle of winter.

So you have to be willing to challenge yourself beyond some of those things and also name your limits. If you are struggling with an injury, there are some other things that you can do beyond running that still support the running journey.

Another piece of this—and I mentioned it the last time I talked about it—was that my doctor said I needed more aerobic exercise, but I also needed to do some strength training. So I started going to a gym and working with a personal trainer. I’ve been doing that for almost two years too.

One of the things I was told, which I had not thought of on my own, was this idea that in order to be an effective runner, you have to have a solid core. Someone who is familiar with running said one of the ways you can know someone needs more core strength is their posture while they’re running. If they’re bent over, if they’re struggling to keep a straight posture, that’s probably a good indication that they could do some work around their core.

When I started, I had not made the connection between running and the strength training I was doing. But the more I’ve done it, the more I’ve realized those two things work together.

That’s true for a lot of people in recovery. Yes, we are focusing on recovery, but there are some additional things we can do to support that. We often talk about brain health and the fact that we need to get our brain to cooperate. So that may be something someone needs to address that is going to directly support recovery. Maybe there’s been some trauma and they need to do very specific work around trauma. Maybe they’ve had some very specific things around their body and would benefit from some somatic care.

There are these additional peripheral things we do that directly support recovery in the same way that the strength training I’m doing is supporting my running.

Jim:
Yeah, definitely. Recovery isn’t always just, “I’ve got to stop this behavior.” It may not even be just one form of counseling. Maybe I need other kinds of resources in terms of counseling for recovery.

The other thing in terms of running that’s kind of equivalent with recovery is that you often think of running as just an individual sport, which a lot of it is. You do have to do a lot of the lifting yourself. But what I recognize is it’s a lot easier if someone’s running with you. When you hit what they call “the wall,” it’s nice to have someone who says, “All right, let’s keep going.”

Greg:
One of the things I benefit from is that occasionally I do sign up for an official race. At this point, I’ve done a 5K, some 10Ks, a 15K, and also two half marathons.

What I benefit from is the energy that the group of people who are running bring. In each race, when I’m going a further distance, literally I have never run that far before. When I did the 8K, the furthest I had ever run was a 5K because my app was Couch to 5K. I’d never done those last 3Ks. I think what really helped me was the energy—not just from the crowds cheering, but also from the people I was running with.

When I did my first half marathon, I had never run that far before. I’d done 10 miles, but I’d not done 13.1. So I do think being in a group that is focused on the same thing helps us push ourselves.

The other piece is this: in running, my experience has been that you always challenge yourself beyond what you think you can do. And that is so true in recovery. Recovery is about becoming the person that God created you to be. It’s living beyond your expectations, or even your experience, of what you believe is possible. So we hear that challenge to something that is more, and I think that’s an important part of recovery. I’m constantly looking beyond where I am now to see what else might be possible.

Jim:
The other things I think about in terms of running are that when I first started, like you, I really didn’t know much about it. I played more ball sports when I was younger, so I knew a lot about ball sports. I had no knowledge of running whatsoever.

But I learned fairly quickly that the right tools are necessary. I didn’t know they made specific running shoes for specific kinds of feet. In fact, I bought the wrong running shoes when I first started, and I ended up having knee issues and ankle issues because they make running shoes for pronators or supinators.

Greg:
I’m so impressed that you know those terms. I don’t, but I know what you’re talking about.

Jim:
It caused me significant knee injuries, and I ended up having to get new shoes because I didn’t have the right stuff.

The other thing I recognized after my first race is that you can’t wear certain shirts or shorts. You ever wonder why people wear short shorts? I used to think, “Get some longer shorts on.” But I recognized they wear those short shorts because if you’re running, you’re chafing. There’s a reason they’re wearing them.

Greg:
Right. Understanding what the process is helps me identify what equipment I need. What’s interesting is I don’t have to be an expert in some of these things because there are other people who are. So it really is about creating this team.

We talk about that all the time—this recovery team that helps you know what resources you’re going to need and what tools are going to be helpful. I have to lead the team, but I can use other experts to make it more effective.

Jim:
And oftentimes we’re learning from other people’s experience: “That didn’t work; this does work.”

One of the things Mark has talked about, and I’ve heard you talk about, that’s important in recovery is vision. For recovery, you have to know where you’re going. It’s step by step, but you kind of have to know where you’re going.

Greg:
Using that image, I do always have a little bit of anxiety that I’m going to get lost on the race—especially races where they have a 5K, a 10K, and a 15K and you have to follow the signs and make sure.

But what I’ve discovered is it’s clearly marked once I get there. A lot of times they’ll show you what the path is going to be, and you can look at it and see the map. But it’s so much more helpful to know that when I get to a place, I will know which direction to go because it will be clearly marked.

I think that’s another piece of recovery. If I look too far down the road, or if I feel like I’ve got to have the whole thing figured out, I’m not going to be successful. But if I can just trust that if I’m faithful to what I know, that next right step will be evident when I get there.

And if I get to the place where I do need to make some decisions and decide which path I’m going to take, if I can just trust that I’m going to have the information I need at that point to make that decision—then it really is always about looking down the road at the next right step.

Jim:
Yeah. I think that’s so important. And then the other thing is: why are we doing this? Why are we on this recovery journey? Without a vision, it’s kind of a lot of work and a lot of pain without much to look forward to.

But like you said, that vision is becoming who God has called us to be.

Greg:
Right. One other thing I want to say about community is this: for the most part, my running has been basically by myself unless I’m doing these races. But back in the summer, I joined a running club.

To be honest, I would have never thought that I would run in a running club. The reason I do is that Chicago has this running organization with neighborhood clubs you can be a part of. Literally, the one in my neighborhood just runs by my street. I’m able to walk a little bit and meet them.

I have found that incredibly helpful. What’s true is they are much better runners and faster runners than I am. In fact, when they posted, “We can run at this pace or we can run at this pace,” my pace wasn’t even listed as an option. So the image is me behind and the running club in front.

But even with that, it’s not like I’m running with them. And what’s true is I don’t have enough lung capacity to have a conversation with anybody while I’m running, although some people do. Very impressive.

It’s helpful for me to know that they’re going to be there. The club runs Thursday mornings at 6:00 a.m., and I would never define myself as a morning person. So on those cold winter mornings, the only thing that gets me out of bed is that kind of loyalty and commitment that I’ve made to the club.

Just the other day, at 6:00 a.m. on a Thursday morning, I think the temperature was five degrees and the wind chill was like negative two. The rule—or the guideline—is that as long as the temperature is above zero, the running club runs.

They have a text stream, and the leader sent out a text: “Who’s excited about running tomorrow morning?” I responded, “I would not use the word excited, and I’m planning to be there.” But that text—the fact that I said I will be there—that’s what got me out of bed. Not the desire to run. Not the desire to be in a five-degree run. But because I committed to that.

I really encourage men to use the community to support them in moving forward, especially where there’s resistance.

Jim:
There is a part of us that doesn’t want to choose recovery. There is a part of us that recognizes it’s difficult. The reality of recovery is that it’s moving toward those parts of our lives that we want to medicate and avoid with the addiction.

So I often, when men say, “What do you think my next step is in recovery?” answer with, “What is the pain that you’re wanting to avoid that you’re being invited to move toward?”

The community can be a great place for that. We show up because we made a commitment. We stay engaged because of the community. So for those men who are trying to do this on their own or aren’t really leveraging their community, they are going to struggle. In fact, if you’re trying to do it on your own, you’re not going to be able to recover.

And if you’re not really leveraging your community, you’re not going to be as successful, because we need other people waiting for us on that corner at 6:00 a.m. in five-degree temperatures that get us out the door to join them.

Again, I find that it’s not like I run with them—they run ahead of me. It’s not like I have conversation with them. But it’s knowing that they expect me to be there. And that expectation is an invitation, and I want to be committed to the community that makes it possible.

The other thing is this: I don’t have to run at 6:00 a.m. on a Thursday morning. My schedule is such that I could run at a different time, typically when it’s warmer. But I also know I need to challenge myself. I need to strengthen my discipline, because my desire is to run the Chicago Marathon. That’s what I’m working for.

This year I turned 65, and the vision is that I’ll run a marathon when I’m 65 years old. Part of that is knowing it’s going to take commitment. It’s going to take discipline.

So I have the vision. I’ve signed up for the training that the running club does. I’ve signed up for races that extend how far I’ve run in order to get ready.

And one other correlation is this: early in recovery, one of the things our partners want to know is, “Are you going to be sober? Can you commit to me that you’re going to be sober?” And what we all know is, if the man says yes, the reality is that doesn’t feel very trustworthy. The wife doesn’t necessarily trust that, but we feel compelled to say yes.

What I’ve discovered is if somebody says, “Are you going to run the marathon?” I can’t say, “Yes, I’m going to run the marathon.” I may get injured, or something else may happen. But what I can say is, “I’m committed to train for the marathon.”

I’m committed to do what I believe, and what others—the experts—say is necessary to do the marathon. So I’m committed to get up at 6:00 a.m. to run. I’m committed to run the distances that I’m encouraged to run. I’ve signed up for races. I’ve signed up for the training.

And what I know is that if I’m committed to do the training, then I can say one day I am able to run the marathon.

So for those of you especially early in recovery who are desperately wanting other people to believe that you can be sober the rest of your life, probably the best way to communicate that is: “I am committed today to do what is necessary so that I can be sober, and I’m committed tomorrow to do what I need to do tomorrow so that I can be sober.”

Jim:
That’s a great point because a lot of guys who come to us believe, “I can’t ever imagine actually being sober for even six months, let alone for a year or years.”

And I’m assuming with running, when you first started, you probably would have never imagined, “I could possibly run a marathon someday.”

Greg:
Absolutely. The other day, when it was five degrees and we were running along Lake Michigan, I had this thought. In fact, at that point I was talking to somebody and I said, “I remember being the person in the car looking at people running when it’s five degrees and basically making some judgments about their mental health.”

Jim:
You’ve got to be nuts.

Greg:
Yes, exactly. And here I am doing it.

Absolutely. I think that is part of recovery. I love it when a man says, “There was a time when I couldn’t imagine 30 days of sobriety, and I’ve been sober for 30 days—or six months, or one year, or five years, whatever it is.”

I do think it is that commitment to the journey, the commitment to the vision, and the commitment to the community that make all of that possible. And in those moments where we’re resistant, we do whatever we need to do to push through that resistance. That’s how we build the sobriety we desire. That’s how we run the distances that we want.

And I still do not consider myself a runner. I think runners like it and runners look forward to it. But what I can say is I’m excited about challenging myself in a way that I never imagined I could challenge myself, and having something that I’m working toward that is beyond me.

I think that’s so much of recovery. It’s about challenging ourselves to do the things that we maybe at one point never imagined we were going to be able to do. It’s important that we see the possibilities that are out there.

Jim:
Yeah, I love that. One of the things you said earlier was kind of like, when you’re out there running, you’re looking at the times. Well, I don’t compare to those times. I don’t even get on the sheet.

But I’ve heard you say many times in the workshop: identify, but don’t compare.

Greg:
Oh, excellent. Yes. Isn’t it funny? I am tempted to compare.

But you’re right. It’s my race. It’s my pace. It’s whatever I need to do to get across the finish line. Part of it is also having grace with yourself.

One of the best things that a runner said to me one time was, “Some days your run is just going to be ugly.” I didn’t even know what that meant. Well, now I know.

There are those days where it’s stumbly and awkward, and you’re walking some, and you’re not breathing well. It’s just not that graceful, beautiful run that you’re hoping for. It’s more awkward and stumbling.

Another reason I don’t consider myself a runner is my assumption that if you’re a runner, your run is graceful. When I run, I look like one of those zombies stumbling awkwardly down the road—and not the fast zombies, the slow ones.

But sometimes recovery is kind of stumbly and awkward. It doesn’t feel graceful, and yet you’re still on the journey. You’re still moving forward. And it is that commitment that, no matter what, no matter how I finish, I’m determined to finish. It may be an ugly race, but I want to cross that finish line in any form that I can.

So I think that’s another thing to recognize: don’t compare your race to anybody else’s. Don’t compare your pace to anybody else’s. Be committed to yourself. Don’t compare—identify. That has been something that’s really been helpful for me as I try to find my way forward.

Jim:
I remember when my sons were in track, their coach used to say that even though you’re on a team, you’re out there running the race by yourself. He would tell them, “You need to have this focus where you tell yourself that today is going to be better than yesterday. I’m working toward progress.”

It’s not going to be perfection, because like you said, some days your time is a little bit faster than other days. But am I making progress? Am I moving forward?

Greg:
Yeah. And one of the things I’m aware of is that technology is helpful for me in running. I am not a very technologically oriented kind of person. I never have been. But I have found that there are certain things in technology that have been helpful.

My kids got me this watch one year, and it helps me identify my pace and the distance that I’ve gone. It helps record that. One of the things I encourage men to do is, especially for those of you for whom technology has been a destructive part of your addiction, find healthy, safe ways so that the technology that was once destructive can be productive and support you in your recovery.

The watch that I wear and the way that it links to my phone are all things that help me be more effective in my running. So I do think there are ways that we can use the technology and the resources around us to improve our recovery. Obviously we do that in safe ways, but I do think that can be a correlation that we can understand.

Randy:
Well, we’re going to follow you, Greg. We like to celebrate when people hit mile markers in their recovery, and we’ll be cheering for you.

Greg:
Here’s one other thing: this is a part of my recovery. This is part of the stuff we talk about—the green circle things. What’s true is my survivor man can get out there and run, and yet when my wise man is part of this, it is helping me move forward and become the man that God created me to be.

I’ve got things I’m looking forward to. There’s a 10-mile race in April. There’s a 13.1-mile race in June. There’s a 20-mile race that will come up in the fall sometime. And then the marathon itself.

And once again, when I run the marathon, I will have never run those last miles. I’m going to have to find that. And that is part of recovery—finding that part of us, finding that resource we didn’t even know we had, to continue the journey when we want to give up.

Jim:
One of my favorite things too, Greg, about your story is that oftentimes I’ll hear at the workshop, “Man, I wish I’d gotten recovery when I was 18. I’m an old guy now.”

And then you say, “I’m 65. I’m going to run my first marathon.”

Greg:
It’s never too late to run. That is absolutely true.

Randy:
Well, Greg and Jim, thank you so much. This has been the show I was hoping it was going to be, because running is a great metaphor for recovery. We hope that you’ve enjoyed today’s podcast on this subject.

We also hope that you’ll visit our website, FaithfulandTrue.com, where you’ll find many resources available to you, as well as all of the information and online registration for our three-day intensive Men’s Journey Workshops that we do every month here at Faithful and True.

We also offer the Women’s Journey Workshops on about a quarterly basis, and we also have two different versions of the Couples Journey Workshop. Things are expanding and changing all the time here, and we’re excited to see the ways that we continue to spread our wings and the people that we’re able to help through the talented staff that we have here at Faithful and True.

People like you and Jim are gifted, and to see these people coming in—like we’ve got a full workshop of men coming in tomorrow for this weekend’s Men’s Journey Workshop—you see them come in in great need of direction, and you see them leave three days later that much closer to their personal finish line.

So we thank you so much for joining us, Jim. Thanks for being on the podcast. We always enjoy having the clinical director of Faithful and True—prestigious position.

Jim:
Daniel’s going to bring me down to earth here shortly.

Randy:
Daniel’s good at that.

At any rate, we thank you for joining us today. We hope that this coming week for you is going to be a week that’s filled with many blessings and with great vision.