Types of Sexual Addiction

Introduction

Randy Evert:
Welcome to the Faithful & True Podcast. I’m Randy Evert, your co-host. Today we’re sharing a legacy episode featuring Dr. Mark Laaser. Our topic is the types of sex addiction. Drawing from decades of experience, Dr. Laaser offers insight we believe will be both helpful and encouraging.

Sex Addiction 101: Building Blocks

Dr. Mark Laaser:
We’re continuing our journey through the Faithful & True workbook. We’re now in Unit 7, where we go deeper into Sex Addiction 101. Last time, we discussed key characteristics of sex addiction. Today, we’ll explore the types of addictive sexual behavior.

At the foundational level, there are three primary building blocks:

• Fantasy

• Pornography

• Masturbation

Everything begins with thought life. Fantasy is the cornerstone. We don’t act without first thinking. For many, pornography fuels fantasy, and fantasy fuels further behavior. These elements often become intertwined early in development.

If we can interrupt and address unhealthy thought patterns, we can often prevent the behaviors that follow.

Temptation vs. Lust

Dr. Mark Laaser:
A helpful distinction is the difference between temptation and lust. Temptation happens—it’s part of living in today’s world. But lust is when we choose to dwell on, develop, and engage those thoughts internally.

This teaching aligns with Matthew 5:28, where Jesus expands the understanding of sin from outward behavior to inward intention. The goal here isn’t to increase shame, but to increase awareness.

Categories of Sexual Addiction

Dr. Mark Laaser:
The next level includes more advanced sexual behaviors, sometimes referred to clinically as paraphilic behaviors. While they may seem extreme, many are more common than people realize.

Examples include:

• Voyeurism

• Exhibitionism

• Fetishes

• Prostitution

• Addicted sex within marriage

• Phone sex

• Indecent touching

One important category is marital sexual addiction. This occurs when sex becomes purely biological—without emotional or spiritual connection. A spouse is treated as an object rather than a partner. Even within marriage, this can be addictive and deeply damaging.

Many individuals feel intense shame around these behaviors. It’s important to remember: no struggle is unique or beyond help.

Abuse of Power

Dr. Mark Laaser:
The most severe category involves the misuse of power to gain sexual access. This includes:

• Sexual violence

• Incest

• Child exploitation

• Abuse of professional or spiritual authority

For example, when a doctor, teacher, employer, or pastor uses their position to engage in sexual behavior, consent is compromised. In many cases, this is not only unethical—it is criminal.

Affirmation and Hope

Randy Ever:
The workbook includes this week’s affirmation:

“No matter what sexual sin I have committed, I can become sexually whole again through Jesus Christ.”

Dr. Mark Laaser:
Shame often tells us we are bad or beyond help. These affirmations remind us of the truth: there is hope, forgiveness, and the possibility of healing.

The Extremes of Sexual Addiction

Dr. Mark Laaser:
Sex addiction exists on a continuum, similar to eating disorders.

On one side:

• Acting out behaviors (compulsive sexual activity)

On the other:

• Sexual anorexia (avoiding or shutting down sexuality)

Some individuals, especially in Christian contexts, cycle between acting out and self-punishment. This pattern can resemble what I call sexual bulimia—engaging in behavior, followed by guilt and attempts to “punish” oneself.

Others move toward sexual anorexia, attempting to eliminate sexuality altogether, often as a way to feel more spiritual or to protect themselves from past trauma.

Many who struggle with sexual anorexia have histories of sexual abuse. Avoidance becomes a way to cope with unresolved pain.

Acting Out vs. Acting In

Dr. Mark Laaser:
We often use the term acting out to describe engaging in addictive sexual behaviors. On the opposite end is acting in—withdrawing from sexuality altogether.

Both extremes stem from underlying issues and unresolved experiences.

The Role of Self-Punishment

Dr. Mark Laaser:
Some individuals operate with what I call a “24-hour rule”—believing that after acting out, punishment is inevitable. If consequences don’t come, they may create them themselves through self-denial or self-sabotage.

This reflects deeper patterns often rooted in trauma, where self-punishment feels familiar or deserved.

Core Message: There Is Hope

Dr. Mark Laaser:
No matter what you’ve done, nothing separates you from the love of God. Many people believe their behavior is too extreme or too broken to overcome.

I strongly disagree.

Healing is possible. Change is possible. Even the most entrenched patterns can be transformed.

Closing Affirmation

Randy Ever:
As we close, here is another affirmation from the workbook:

“I am able to trust and give control to God.”

Dr. Mark Laaser:
Surrendering control—especially in the area of sexuality—is a critical part of the healing journey. God’s love for us is greater than our ability to love ourselves.

Closing

Randy Ever:
Thank you for joining us on the Faithful & True Podcast. For more resources, visit faithfulandtrue.com, where you can learn about workshops, intensives, and support for your healing journey.

We’re here to help. We hope this week brings you hope, clarity, and continued growth.