Brittany & Anthony Share Their Story

Faithful & True Podcast Transcript

Sex Addiction, Betrayal Trauma, and the Journey Toward Posttraumatic Growth

Randy Evert:Welcome to the Faithful & True Podcast. I’m Randy Ever, your co-host, and we’re here today with our usual host, Dr. Greg Miller. Greg, how are you doing today?

Greg Miller:I’m doing well. It’s good to be here.

Randy Evert:It’s great to have you. And we’re joined by two special guests, Anthony and Britney Gonzalez, members of the Faithful & True team. They’re joining us to share their story of recovery from sex addiction and betrayal trauma, and the journey toward healing and marriage recovery. Welcome—you guys, how are you doing?

Anthony Gonzalez: We’re doing really well. I’m excited to be here, especially with my beautiful bride, who brings incredible wisdom to this conversation.

Britney Gonzalez: Yes, we’re really excited to be here.

Early Struggles and Misunderstandings About Sex Addiction

Greg Miller:Let’s begin with your story. Anthony, tell us a little about your background.

Anthony Gonzalez: Absolutely. I’m Anthony Gonzalez, born and raised in Miami, Florida. I met Britney in college. I have a background as a pastor and attended seminary, but my spiritual journey was deeply intertwined with my struggle with sex addiction and porn addiction. Over time, I came to realize that what I thought were solutions weren’t actually bringing healing.

Initially, I sought help through the church. I was told to pray more, read Scripture, “bounce my eyes,” and replace my thoughts. While those practices have value, they only provided temporary relief. I kept returning to the same behaviors, the same cycles. There was no deeper healing happening inside me, which was incredibly frustrating.

I also believed a common myth—that marriage would fix the problem. I thought that once I could experience sex in a God-honoring way within marriage, the struggle would go away. But what I discovered is that marriage doesn’t solve sex addiction—it often magnifies what’s already there.

Britney’s Story and the Impact of Betrayal Trauma

Britney Gonzalez: My story is a bit different. I came to faith at 18 after struggling with body image and an eating disorder. During treatment, I encountered community, emotional awareness, and faith in a way that became foundational for my recovery.

When Anthony told me early in our relationship that he struggled with pornography, I actually admired his honesty. I believed the cultural narrative that “all men struggle,” so I thought it was normal. But as we moved toward marriage, I realized the issue wasn’t going away.

After we got married, the struggle continued. That’s when the reality of betrayal trauma began to set in. I didn’t fully understand what was happening, but my body knew something was off. I had anxiety, confusion, and even dreams that reflected a deep sense of betrayal.

Eventually, I discovered that Anthony had been hiding his behavior. That moment was devastating. I felt disoriented, overwhelmed, and unable to function at times. That’s the reality of betrayal trauma—it impacts your body, your emotions, your sense of safety, and your identity.

The Cycle of Shame and Secrecy

Anthony Gonzalez:When Britney discovered evidence of my acting out, my first reaction was to lie and deflect. That’s the nature of addiction—shame drives secrecy, and secrecy fuels addiction. Even when I went to counseling, I wasn’t fully honest. I shared partial truths. I held back. And that’s something I want to normalize—many people go to therapy but don’t bring their whole story. Shame keeps that last 20% hidden. But eventually, I couldn’t sustain that anymore. I came back and told Britney the truth, though even then it was only partial. That moment began a shift, but it also revealed how deeply rooted the problem was. The Turning Point: Getting the Right Help

Brittney Gonzalez: Everything changed when we were referred to Faithful & True. Within weeks, Anthony attended the Men’s Journey Workshop, and shortly after, I attended the Women’s Journey Workshop.

That experience gave us a foundation for true healing and marriage recovery. It wasn’t just about stopping behaviors—it was about understanding the deeper issues underneath.

Anthony Gonzalez: One of the most powerful insights I gained was this: my acting out behaviors were attempts to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways. That reframed everything. Instead of asking, “How do I stop this?” I began asking, “What’s driving this? What’s going on inside me?”

That shift—from behavior management to deeper healing—is essential for recovery from sex addiction and porn addiction.

Recovery as a Journey Toward Posttraumatic Growth

Greg Miller: What you’re describing is the difference between surface-level change and deep transformation. That’s where posttraumatic growth begins.

Recovery isn’t just about eliminating addiction—it’s about becoming a different person. It’s about understanding your story, your wounds, your needs, and learning how to live differently.

Brittney Gonzalez: Yes, and recovery is a journey. I wanted everything fixed immediately. I didn’t want to feel pain anymore. But healing takes time.

For me, one of the biggest growth areas was learning how to respond instead of react. Early on, when Anthony shared difficult truths, I would shut down or walk away. Over time, I learned to say, “Thank you for telling me. I need some time to process, but I will come back.”

That changed everything in our communication.

The Power of Community in Healing

Anthony Gonzalez: Another critical piece of recovery is community. You cannot heal from sex addiction or betrayal trauma in isolation.

We needed safe people who understood what we were going through—people who could hold us accountable, support us, and guide us.

Brittney Gonzalez: Yes, recovery is not an individual sport. It requires a team. And not just any team—a safe, skilled community.

The Springboard Analogy: From Pain to Growth

Anthony Gonzalez: We often describe recovery using the analogy of a springboard. Britney was a diver, and she helped me see this clearly.

The lowest point—the moment when the board is fully pressed down—is what creates the momentum to rise higher.

That’s what happens in recovery. The pain, the exposure, the disruption—those “lows” can become the very thing that launches you into growth.

Brittney Gonzalez: But it requires patience. In diving, if you move too quickly, you don’t get the height you need. The same is true in recovery.

Healing requires staying in the discomfort, doing the hard work, and trusting the process. That’s where posttraumatic growth happens.

Practical Lessons for Marriage Recovery

Greg Miller: For those walking through recovery right now, what would you say are the most important lessons?

Anthony Gonzalez:The same tools that help at the beginning are still essential later:Being in community.Practicing vulnerability.Getting curious about your triggers.Continuing to grow in communication.

Recovery doesn’t end—it evolves.

Britney Gonzalez: For me, learning to stay in my “hoop” was transformational. I had to take responsibility for my own thoughts, emotions, and healing.

Instead of trying to control Anthony or fix the problem, I focused on my own growth. That actually strengthened our relationship.

Moving Toward What We Want to Avoid

Greg Miller: Recovery is about moving toward what we would rather avoid—pain, difficult conversations, uncomfortable truths.

Addiction is about avoidance. Healing is about engagement.

A Message of Hope

Randy Evert: As we close, what would you want listeners to take away?

Brittney Gonzalez: There is hope. No matter where you are—whether you’re struggling with sex addiction, porn addiction, or betrayal trauma—there is hope.

Anthony Gonzalez: And you don’t have to do this alone. Healing happens in community.

Randy Evert: Thank you both for sharing your story. For those listening, we invite you to visit faithfulandtrue.com for resources, workshops, and support on your journey toward marriage recovery and posttraumatic growth.